The Golf fines for the Sultans of Swing Golf Tour were created to make sure that everybody has a purpose to play until the very end of the round. Here is a list of the golf fines that are awarded (and sometimes rewarded) to players taking part in the SOS Golf Tour.
Green and yellow fines not awarded during a game are to be taken by the Chairman. Red and black fines, as well as FUBAR fines are not fines the Chairman needs to take. If the golf fine is not awarded for 6 rounds in a row, the Chairman will no longer need to take that fine and it will be removed from the standard fines and become an anti-fine.
SOS Golf Fines
Green Golf Fines
3 Putt: (sometimes called a Snake Fine)
Taking 3 stabs with a putter. Putting starts as soon as the flat stick comes out. Even if you are not on the putting surface. Putting the ball off the green and chipping it back on still counts as two putts. So once the putter is out, you are putting
The last player during a round to hit a tree, branch, leaf, stump or anything resembling a tree or a part of a tree, takes a green fine called the Woody.
The last player during a round in a Water Hazard, takes a green fine called the Wetty. Dry water hazards (marked with Red or yellow stakes) still count as Wetty fines, however standing water does not count as the wetty fine. It must be a hazard.
The last player during a round in a bunker, takes a green fine called the Sandy
For every pee made on the course, you have a green fine. This fine is named after Mr. Greensill, and if he does not take a slash on the course, he must down a full beer. If he does not take the most wees on the course, he must match the number of green fines taken by the person who lead the field in DMVs.
Yellow Golf Fines
This is for a player losing your temper on the golf course. Swearing does not constitute a Gaugeler, but acting in an unsportsman like manner does. Swearing loud enough for golfers in another four ball to hear you would be considered a Gaugeler. Throwing of clubs or hitting the ground in anger all count as Gaugelers.
Two shots in the bunker, or more. For each shot in the bunker, you have a yellow golf fine, until you get out of the trap.
Fellowship of the rings:
Four rings (zero point holes) in a round, add you to the Fellowship. Everyone with four rings must have half a beer.
Back 2 the Future:
Hitting a tree or any object that causes your golf ball to finish behind (further from the hole) its original position.
Going from bunker to bunker. Not to be confused with a Hitler fine, this fine is hitting from one bunker, into a completely different bunker.
Going from the sand (bunker) to the sea (water), never to be seen again. (previously a Surf’s Up)
Taking a cart, or using a push cart, when the rest of the Tour carries their bags and walks.
Toilet during fines:
You may be excused from a fines session to make wee wee, provided you have the Chairman’s permission. The fine is a ‘yellow’ fine and half a beer.
This is for a player who fails to clear the ladies tee with their drive, or any subsequent shot after the drive. (See SOS Tour Rules about OB and Hazards)
This is for making the magic four putts. Even if you start by putting from off the green. Every stroke there after counts as a putt. Even if you revert to using a wedge.
As we use the Stableford Scoring System for the SOS Golf Tour, if a player scores five points or more difference between their front and back nine, they are rewarded a full beer. Effectively piss on one side and shit on the other – a nappy!
Lord of the Rings:
Everyone with more than four rings is part of the Fellowship. The player with the most rings is the Lord of the rings. He must have his half beer for fellowship and his full beer for being Lord.
For every four golf balls you lose in a round you must have a full beer.
This fine is awarded to a player who walks between the markers of any tee box except their own.
Chunky Charlie (Beer & Amarula)
Not wearing the correct shirt for the season or round is a Chunky Charlie. If you do not have the correct shirt, see the SOS Tour Rules for fine’s procedure. Should you invite a friend to play, and they do not wear the correct colour shirt, one of you will take the Black Fine. If you did not tell your friend the correct colour, you take the black fine. But if you did tell your friend, and they did not wear the correct colour, they take the Black fine. “I don’t have a xxx colour shirt” is not an excuse.
If you miss fines, you have a Black fine as punishment for your transgressions during the previous round. If this fine is not had on the 1st tee, it must be had during fines, before fines officially starts. For every fines you miss, this fine gets another shot.
If you miss 1 fines meeting: Beer + Amarula; When you miss 2 fines meetings: Beer + Amarula + Gin; Should you miss 3 fines meetings: Beer + Amarula + Gin + Rum; If you miss 4 fines meetings: Don’t join SOS
Failure to pass the senior’s tee. See SOS Golf Tour Rules regarding OB, Freshies etc.
Missing the golf ball completely. If you touch the ball, but it doesn’t move, or moves, but rolls back into its original position that counts as a freshie.
Last place during a round gets a chunky. The person attending fines in last place must take the chunky, should the chump be absent.
First place during a round gets a chunky. The person attending fines in highest place must take the chunky, should the champ be absent.
FUBAR Fines (F*cked up beyond all recognition): (“special fines”)
Sherry, Smirnoff Spins, Strumblers, Rumblers, Junkies (Gin-chunky) or Crumblers
Hitting it out of bounds (Double shot of old brown sherry for each ball hit OB)
Getting away with a bad shot – getting a lucky break. (Smirnoff Spin)
Fines Master Fine:
This is a nominated fine for the day – by the round’s chosen fine’s master. The fine’s master is the player who finished in 13th place the round before. If there is a tie, the player with the lowest handicap is fine’s master.
The severity of the fine is determined by the Fine’s Master
Intentionally cheating and getting caught
Cheating without knowing you are cheating – playing off the wrong handicap, getting busted breaking the rules of golf
If you miss fines as the champ or chump, you take a Junkie in the next round. If you miss a round as champ, you cannot win on a count out. You will automatically finish 2nd, but must still have the Junkie.